What to do?

By Amy Smith on Sat, 11-03-12, 22:15

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Single Parents

I am 22 years old I have a two year old son. His father never been in the picture. Now this guy i know wants to be. But he doesn't know how to be a father to my son pushes him away without knowing it which bugs me! We don't have much in common and I most of the time don't feel like we are in love. I know he wants to marry me one day but is that the answer? He been in my child life for a while yet it feels like the very first time every time they see each other. I know he loves my son and I however I feel like we are just too different in many ways. Am I just worry about having to go through this again or is this a sign we aren't meant to be? But how many guys are out there are okay with not living with a women and child and not doing anything and is okay with it?

By andine on Mon, 11-05-12, 18:19

being a mom is an important job. if you can, get some professional advice, like a child therapist. it helped me a great deal when my son was young and i was raising him on my own. you will have lots of questions and it's good to have someone trained helping you.

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By akidfromOregon on Sun, 11-11-12, 16:50

I say listen to your gut. If you have all these questions, I'd say he's not the one for you. You are still young..go out and find the guy you are truly supposed to be with.

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By jasonzx on Sun, 11-11-12, 17:25

Hi i say listen to your heart! If u question the relationship maybe he isnt the one, find the one, im so sick of guys having babies and not being a father to them! Best wishes!! Take care

ENGLISH SPACE GEEK!!!. I always feel like im walking a tightrope between happiness and unhappiness, and i dont know which side i will fall

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By my-new-beginning on Sun, 11-18-12, 21:39

Hello Amy,

I went through the same thing. However the guy I was with and eventually married didn't just tell me he loved my son. My son felt it. Each time my son saw him walk up the walkway he would get excited and wanted to open the door for him. I was very leary at first but it was too obvious that he actually did love my son.

If you don't have much in common I would say don't even bring him around your son. It wouldn't be fair for your son to get attached to someone his mommy is not sure she wants around, nor someone pushes your son away.

Keep in mind you are no longer alone, when you make decisions you have to make them for the benefit of your son first then yourself. Next time you are attracted to someone, try not to bring them around your son, until you get to know them well, then slowly introduce them to your child and pay very close attention to their interaction and that there will let you know if this new person is a good fit for the both of you.

Good luck

~I'm not a therapist, I only speak from my experiences~

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By andine on Mon, 11-19-12, 11:47

good advice.

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By CandiceG on Fri, 11-23-12, 14:04

I have been through this as well. It appears from what I read from your post is that you don't feel like you're in love and doing it more so that you have support in raising your son than giving him a real family. I went through that as a child when my parents just stayed together only for the sake of me, but it turned out that it hurt me more than it helped me. I would say listen to your heart. If you feel that this guy doesn't love your song or that you two aren't in love, don't stay in the relationship. Especially for the wrong reasons. There's plenty of help and support groups for single mom's. I know that this will all turn out for the best, again, just listen to what your heart tells you.

Every life has a measure of sorrow, and sometimes this is what awakens us.

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